BIG MAC McKENNA

I WAS IN THE CHP ACADEMY WITH "BIG MAC McKENNA" HE WAS OUR PLATOON LEADER AND HE WAS ALWAYS "IN-CHARGE" "GENTLEMEN THE REASON I CALLED THIS MEETING" MAC&I GRADUATED ON OCTOBER 3RD, 1968, WE WERE ASSIGNED TO WEST LOS ANGELES AREA OFFICE WHICH INCLUDED UNINCORPORATED AREAS OF HOLLYWOOD, LENNOX, EAST END OF WATTS, PCH MALIBU, HAWTHORNE, MARINA DEL RAY, 405 FROM MULLHOLLAND TO IMPERIAL, 10 FROM PCH TO LA CIENEGA MARINA DEL RAY FREEWAY, SUNSET STRIP FROM DOHENY DRIVE TO LA BREA AVENUE.  MAC & I WERE WORKING A TRAFFIC ACCIDENT ON THE 405 FREEWAY WITH OUR "BREAK-IN-OFFICERS" MAC & I WERE LAYING OUT FLARES WHEN MAC SAYS TO ME, YOUR SINGLE, I'M SINGLE, LET'S BE PARTNERS WHEN WE GET OFF BREAK-IN.  THAT WAS THE START OF A GREAT FRIENDSHIP AND PARTNERS FOR OVER A YEAR, I WAS MAC'S FIRST PARTNER ON THE CHP.  THE SERGEANTS FINALLY SPLIT US UP AS THEY SAID YOU GUYS ARE TOO CLOSE, WE NEED TO SPLIT YOU UP.  I TAUGHT MAC HOW TO RIDE A MOTORCYCLE BEFORE HE BECAME A CHP MOTOR OFFICER'.  COUPLE OF FUNNY STORIES ABOUT MAC&I.  MAC ALWAYS BROUGHT 2 TRIPLE-DECKER SANDWICHES ALONG WITH A LARGE THERMOS OF GORILLA POWDER THAT HE ATE & DRANK ON OUR BREAK, NOT TO MENTION OUR CODE 7 LUNCH BREAK 30 MINUTES AT A RESTAURANT.  MAC WOULD EAT HIS SANDWICHES AND DRINK HIS GORILLA POWDER AND TWO HOURS LATER WOULD START FARTING IN THE CHP CRUISER(WE WORKED "OVERLAP SHIFT 7PM-3AM) HE WOULD FART, STINK UP THE WHOLE UNIT & I WOULD ROLL DOWN THE POWER WINDOWS IN THE CRUISER, IN NOVEMBER, DECEMBER, JANUARY, AND FEBRUARY, HE WOULD SAY ROLL UP THE WINDOWS AND I WOULD REPLY, WHEN YOU QUIT FARTING.  AFTER MIDNIGHT MAC WOULD ASK ME TO DRIVE (HIS NIGHT TO DRIVE) AS HE WOULD SLEEP SITTING UP WITH HIS HAT PULLED DOWN TO COVER HIS SLEEPING BUT, HIS LOWER LIP WOULD DROOL ALL OVER HIS UNIFORM & I WOULD HIT HIM AND SAY "MAC YOUR HING-IN' ALL OVER YOUR UNIFORM(HIS WORD FOR DROOLING!!), I PACED TWO CARS IN A DRAG RACE SOUTHBOUND 405 FROM MULLHOLLAND TO SUNSET STRIP, I PULLED BOTH OVER (1 A 65 OLDS, & 1 A 54 SUPED-UP FORD CROWN-VIC CRESTLINE) I JABBED MAC IN THE RIBS TOLD HIM TO TAKE THE OLDS (DRAGGING @ 110MPH) HE WENT TO THE DRIVER  & SAID I GOT YOU @ 110MPH, THE DRIVER SAID "OH YEAH, FROM WHERE TO WHERE"????  MAC, FLABBARGASTED  SAYS "DON'T GET SMART BUDDY, I'LL PUT YOU IN JAIL"!!! MAC COULDN'T SEE THAT WELL ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT (HE FLUNKED THE EYE TEST FOR THE CHP BUT WENT TO HIS OWN DOCTOR AND GOT A PASS, MAC COULD ALWAYS FIND A "WAY AROUND" A SITUATION") SO I WAS HIS SEEING EYE DOG (MAC COULD NOT SEE A LICENSE PLATE ON A CAR IN FRONT OF US AT A DISTANCE OF 10') AND HE WAS MY MUSCLE!!!!  ANOTHER NIGHT WE WERE @ CODE 7 WITCHSTAND ON LA CIENEGA BLVD. SITTING @ THE COUNTER (MAC'S EYES WEREN'T SO G@@D BUT HIS HEEARING WAS EXCELLENT) TWO COUPLES WALKED IN AND PASSED US, WENT & SAT DOWN IN A BOOTH, MAC SAYS "DID YOU HEAR WHAT THAT GUY SAID"?  I SAID NO, MAC SAYS AS THEY WALKED BY ONE OF THE MALES SAID, "YEAH, THE BIGGER THEY ARE, THE HARDER THEY FALL"!!!!  I SAID WELL WE'LL JUST STAKE-OUT THE PARKING LOT & WHEN THEY LEAVE I'M SURE WE CAN FIND A REASON TO PULL THEM OVER, WHICH WE DID.  THEY HAPPENED TO BE DOING 47MPH IN A 45MPH ZONE.  I PULLED THEM OVER AND IT WAS MY OUT BUT BEING AS HOW THE DRIVER WAS THE ONE WHO HAD MADE THE COMMENT, I GAVE UP MY OUT TO MAC.  MAC GOES TO THE CAR, GETS THE DRIVERS LICENSE&REGISTRATION AND LOOKS THEM OVER AND SAYS TO THE DRIVER, "I'M GOING TO CUT YOU A BREAK, BUT SAYINGS LIKE "THE BIGGER THEY ARE, THE HARDER THEY FALL IS GOING TO GET YOUR LITTLE SKINNY ASS IN TROUBLE SOMEDAY" (ALL THIS IN FRONT OF HIS GIRLFRIEND & THE OTHER COUPLE) SO MAC ENDS THE STOP BY TELLING THE DRIVER "OH BY THE WAY, I'VE GOT A SAYING OF MY OWN, "THE SMALLER THEY ARE THE FARTHER THEY FLY"!!!!!)  AGAIN AS I SAID PREVIOUSLY, MAC KNEW HOW TO GET AROUND A SITUATION AND WAS VERY SMART AND QUICK ON HIS FEET.  MY THIRD STORY WAS ONE NIGHT ON OVER-LAP SHIFT MAC'S DRIVING OUR 1968 DODGE POLARA, IT'S DRIZZLING AND THE RAMPS ARE SLICK, MAC "PUNCHES" THE BIG 440 CUBIC INCH ON THE LA TIERA ONRAMP TO THE 405 SOUTHBOUND, NEEDLESS TO SAY TOO MUCH POWER FOR THE SLICK ON-RAMP, THE REAR-END BREAKS LOOSE AND MAC STARTS HIS SKID-PAN TRAINING TO KEEP US FROM DROPPING OVER TO OUR LEFT IN THE ICE PLANT COVERAGE AND ROLLING THE UNIT, AS HE IS THE LEFT FRONT FENDER CLIPS A PADDLE-MARKER SIGN AND SCRATCHES THE FENDER.  MAC RECOVERS AND WE ARE ON THE WAY TO "TOMMIES" FAMOUS CHILI-BURGERS ON HAWTHORNE & IMPERIAL, WE HAD PREVIOUSLY STOPPED AND CHECKED OUT THE DAMAGE TO THE UNIT AS MAC DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO FILL OUT ALL THE PAPERWORK ON A PATROL CAR ACCIDENT REPORT, SO I SUGGEST WE STOP AT PEP-BOYS AND BUY A CAN OF RUBBING COMPOUND AND RUB THE SCRATCHES OUT.  WE DO THIS, GO TO TOMMIES AND WHILE MAC IS RUBBING OUT THE SCRATCHES TWO G@@D L@@KIN' HUNNIES COME OUT START TALKING TO ME AND PLANT THEIR FINE ASSES ON TOP OF THE CRUISER'S H@@D, ABOUT 10 MINUTES LATER A SARGEANT ROLLS UP, GETS OUT OF HIS CRUISER AND WALKS UP TO ME AND SAYS, WHAT'S MAC DOING?  I TOLD HIM THE TRUTH AND HE SAID THAT WAS OK AFTER INSPECTING THE SCRATCHES BUTTTTTTT, HE SAID "DENNIS, IT DOESN'T L@@K TOO PR@FESSI@NAL YOU HAVING TWO HUNNIES SITTING ON YOUR CRUISERS H@@D".  DENNIS R. MILLER  D.R.MILLER BADGE/I.D.#6419